Just Usagi
by hishinzo
Summary: Neo- Queen Serenity wishes for a time long gone, a time when she was just a girl who fell in love with her best friend.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Sailor Moon.

**Just Usagi**

Neo-Queen Serenity smiled when she reached her destination. She raised a hand, ready to knock on the wooden door before her. Another hand shot out and caught hers. She looked at the senshi of Jupiter curiously.

"I wouldn't disturb her, Serenity. Rei had a date spend the night. No one's seen either of them all morning. And you know what a temper she has. I'm sure she'd yell if you interrupt now."

Serenity flinched at the news, but her senshi didn't seem to notice. "Oh. I'll just wait until later to talk to her then."

"Probably best," Makoto agreed.

The blonde royal nodded.

"So, did Endymion have any trouble getting away this morning? I know you two were up pretty late last night."

Serenity ignored her friend's wink, sneaking a look at the door beside her. "He got away fine."

"How long is the trip this time?"

"Two months, I think."

"Sorry. You must really miss him during all these business trips."

"It's OK. He is the King of Earth, and since I take care of most the stuff around here, it only makes sense he'd do a lot of the traveling."

"Even if you understand, it must be hard on you," Makoto said, squeezing her friend's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "I have to get going, but I'll see you later, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks, Mako."

After Makoto took off down the palace halls, Serenity faced the door again. She stared at the engraved symbol of Mars in the center, a thousand things running through her mind. Someone else was in there with Rei. Someone else was kissing her, touching her, loving her. Serenity bit her lip, trying to keep the tears from leaving her eyes. She kept staring, trying to will the door open, to get that other person out of Rei's room.

Several minutes later she got her wish when the door opened, knocking her to the ground. "Ouch," she cried.

"Serenity? What are you doing behind my door?" Rei reached down to help the queen up.

Once she was on her feet, Serenity got a look at the person standing beside her friend. Tall, dark, and handsome, he was the type of man that fairytales talked about. In her youth, she would have swooned over him and giggled with her friends about his good looks.

But now she hated him. It shocked her, having that emotion. Serenity was not the type of person who hated. She loved everyone. It was what made her such a great ruler. A thousand years before, when she fought evil as Sailor Moon, she was even able to love her enemies. Yet, she knew she hated this man. She knew nothing about him, had never seen him before in her life, but she hated him for the simple fact that he'd been in that room with the Senshi of fire.

She knew the raven-haired beauty had had encounters of this type with others before, though never on the first date as far as she knew. And this was definitely the first date, for Serenity was sure she'd have seen the man before if Rei had gone out with him more than once. But, even though she knew that there was sometimes someone else in Rei's room with her, she'd never known when it was and had never actually witnessed anyone coming or going. Because of that, she'd been able to pretend it didn't happen.

But, this proof… Serenity's eyes betrayed her as several tears fell down her pale cheeks.

"Maybe you should go, now," Rei addressed her date.

The man nodded, bowed once to his queen, and scurried away.

"Serenity?"

She looked up at the woman before her.

Rei sighed, taking the other's hand and leading her into her quarters.

"What's wrong?" Rei asked after they sat on her couch.

"I'm sorry," Serenity said, "I just don't like the thought of you with… him and I just, I'm sorry to interrupt; it just hurt so much!"

"Well, good. Now you know how I felt last night when I heard you and Endymion. Palace walls or not, they're thin. And you apparently don't feel the need to keep quiet when you're with him. Not that you have to, I suppose; your relationship with him doesn't have to be kept secret. But then again, neither do any of my relationships."

"You, you wanted me to find out?" Serenity asked, blue eyes wide in confusion and hurt.

"No, yes, I… I just wanted you to feel that way, just once. So, yeah, I figured if he stayed long enough today, you'd find out."

"That's cold, Rei," Serenity cried, backing away from her senshi.

"So are you!" Rei snapped. "How do you think I feel every time I see you run off with Endymion? That hurts me! And you never seem to care, so I decided not to care, too, so you'd know how painful it is, even if it was only for a little while."

"I'm sorry," Serenity whispered. "I know it's not fair that you have to see me and Endymion together. He expects those things, though, and so does everyone else, for that matter. There's nothing I can do about it. He's my husband and Small Lady's father, not to mention the king to my queen. And, I did love him, once. I can't hurt him or my daughter, or the citizens of Earth by leaving him."

"But, you can have an affair with one of your guardians, right?"

"Do you think I want it to be this way? I don't. God, I don't want it to be like this. I'm in love with you, Rei. But, I can't just abandon my responsibilities." She smiled slightly. "You drilled that into me when I was a kid, with all your bossiness."

"I think I drilled too deep," Rei said, wiping away the tears that had fallen on her face. She pulled Serenity close to her, wrapping her arms around the blonde's small waist. Serenity placed her head in the crook of Rei's neck and snuggled deeper into the embrace. Rei rested her chin in Serenity's hair and asked, "Do you think that maybe we should stop this?"

Serenity jerked away. "What do you mean?"

"It's been a couple hundred years now, since right after you awoke the Earth and started Crystal Tokyo. We're both just getting more attached and it can't really go anywhere. The fates are against us."

"You, you don't want to be with me anymore? But, I love you, Rei, so much. I need you."

"I love you, too, Serenity, with all my heart. But, we just keep hurting each other."

"Isn't that some old saying?"

"Yeah, 'you always hurt the ones you love'. That certainly does describe us."

"Do you really want to break up, Rei?"

"No. If you want to be together, despite the odds, you're not gonna be able to get rid of me."

Serenity laid her head back against Rei's chest. "I wish," she murmured, "I wish I was Usagi again."

Rei shifted so they were reclining against the back of the couch. Combing her fingers through the long strands of Serenity's hair, she answered," What are you talking about? You're still the sweet girl I fell in love with all those years ago. Whether you're called Serenity or Usagi, you're still the same person."

"No, I'm not. Usagi wasn't a queen. She wasn't a wife or a mother. She was just a girl. And the feelings that rushed over her when she kissed her best friend one day scared her. So she ran back to her prince and her destiny," Serenity blinked back more tears and concentrated on hearing her lover's heartbeat. She smiled sadly. "But I want to go back. I want to be that girl again. I want to make a different decision after that kiss. I just want to be Usagi, a girl who fell in love with her best friend."

**The End**


End file.
